Ithaca and the Absence

At the depth of a hidden labyrinth of my soul

I encounter a void filled with you, absent in the distance.

I roam every place where you have drunk my soul

surrounded by senses,

anointed of your scent on my body.

I sit at the edge of my ship and look the horizon

Will the auroras last?

I lie in twilight, I watch the moon,

clouds cover your reflection,

shadows symbolize amplitude of miles.

So close to the heart and so far the place where life dawns.

A place where furies and assaults inhabit.

I'd give my life to save you from that hell where you coexist.

I revolve between the night not knowing what to expect.

One day I awoke in love with blackness,

in love with your name.

Held by Achilles in Homer´s Larisa

far away from home.

It was my own Troy, 

burning with passion just as Leda´s daughter…

Far from Ithaca,

as Odysseus, he by my side

wanted to live forever.

The heat of the flesh

the spirit of the goodness halo,

the ice of your distance

the tremor of my anguishes…

To many battles…

a duel, a celebration, a grave .

River of madness 

I know you exist

You are not all mine in my presence

you are mine in absence,

but in my mind and in my feels 

cannot bestride your memories

through a tunnel of nothingness,

silent, timeless, stolen from your hands…

I slipped of life but always in cheers

…groping.

Today there is a hole in my soul

not comforted by anything

nor with day nor with night.

Is the eclipse of your being.

I saw by your side the sunset and since

I sit in your lap and wait for nightfall

so the moon would reborn.

We climbed to the top of the world between sands

and after a few hours we fell to our site

far mine, 

yours distant in a parallel universe.

I die every time I think of you

live every second as I know less.

It is the tension of the arc and the lire,

is the irony of life

that keeps testing me.

I cry and I laugh.

At a cradle and a sepulcher.

A myth among many more.

His death has killed me for so long

I miss you defunct

I miss you alive.

Melancholy hunts me at every corner

And nostalgia for the future has reached me in time.

Today has become my present affliction

in this wilderness where you and I have agreed.

I have give myself to your arms

Ageless of me

I have give away myself into a void

Which I don´t know how to overcome.

He has gone after arrival

has left me adrift

between your mind I think

but not think me.

I feel you through the absence

I see your face behind a window 

of a transmuted consciousness

I see your eyes open to life.

I have witnessed your flight

which has fallen into the precipice

by disillusionment and despair.

I hope the trip does not become into a getaway

despite my fears of stealth.

I did not run from your breath,

I stayed indomitable at your crotch...

something tells me you're as much mine as I am yours

although it was just a sigh, a whisper of the saints.

A bird followed my path and flew towards madness.

One night finished by the hours,

the next day the consent in a second.

Again that emptiness, 

that nothingness that pursued my life.

I hear and tremble

I feel you and I see not

is again as death

as the one who’s follow me.

I don not understand this state

I do not understand the vocation I was given.

Happy for me,  for you

that you existed and that you loved.

I have my path in a crossroads

I do not know where to go.

I see over the horizon

oh Ithaca!, my Ithaca! ...

you're my island where I shall be wrecked.

CDMX 2012